confused

i am confused. i don't know who i love. i don't know who to trust other than my parents and myself. are the things you say true or you just say it to satisfy me? stop letting me to live in a world of lies can or not? just let me be who i am. please. i miss him. i really do. but should i tell him? maybe not. i guess after i knew things that i don't wan to know really hurts me alot. i cant sleep. i was wondering and thinking. awake all night long. i feel better after taking a bath but after few hours i am not feeling so good. why must i fall for the wrong guy at the wrong time? why cant i let go him like i let go others? what should i do to let him go and to forget him? each time i think of what happen and the things i know i feel sad. really sad. is like my heart was torn into thousands and millions of pieces. what should i do??? i would like to go to a beach so that i can release my stress and not to think about that for a moment. but who can accompany me go??? haiz. the one who can accompany me is not here right now. what should i do? my parents dont want to go to the beach. feel very sad, tired and confused. can i sleep tonight? i guess tonight will be like last night. awake all night and staring at the stars on my ceiling. thinking of why must i be the girl you choose to hurt. why must i still love you so deeply and never want to let you go from my life??? why should i lie to myself that i forget about you when i am not. i guess i will still live in the world of lies

lisa

9.53pm