haiz . what should i do ???

i am confused. i guess i hurt u deeply last night. i hurt u but i hurt myself also. i dun mean it but i guess i am afraid of getting hurt again. i guess i was even sad than u. but do u know that??? i guess not. haiz. i really can't hold back my tears anymore. if i juz treat u like a friend why must i be so sad and confuse right now??? what does this mean??? my head is full with questions. i don't know what exactly is happening. i really wish that i didn't wake up from my dream. i still wan to be in the dreamland where there is no worries and sadness. i guess i am in love. i guess i finally felt something after for such a long time. i finally got the word love in my head. but after what happen yesterday do you still love me??? i don't know why but i suddenly feel the way u treat me is getting colder and colder. i don't know why but i feel lonely and sad. sob sob. do i still have the chance to turn back time??? should i tell you that i finally found out that i have feeling towards you and i am in love with you. if i do that will i get hurt or maybe i will be happier. is 50 50. so should i take the risk??? what if i tell him that i love him but now he doesn't anymore??? i don't know what to do. i don't know what to think anymore. i don't know what i should do anymore. maybe i should give myself a chance to start loving again. maybe i wont get hurt. why must i think negative things but not positive??? i am confused. but i guess i really do love you. i finally realize that i realy do have feelings on you. but i don't know whether do you still love me or not. i guess you are either angry with me or u are avoiding me. i also don't know what's happening. haiz. i'm really sad. i don't know what should i do. my heart really hurts. it's like torn into thousand of pieces. but i guess i still can continue dreaming??? dreaming that you still love me. haiz

lisa

4.45pm